Introduction

I am starting this blog as a place for me to vent. I have been going through this for so long now. The amount of abuse I take from my now ex-husband on a daily basis is more than I ever thought anyone could take. Our son (22) ignores it and our daughter (19) thinks her dad is going to kill me one day. 

Even though we are now divorced, we are still living together. Because I don’t have a way out. He keeps his money to himself and spends any money I happen to get by selling things online. 

He has very bad and very frequent delusions about me cheating. He constantly sees and hears things that aren’t really there. He secretly video records me constantly. And spends hours going over each video again and again until he “finds” what he is looking for, which isn’t really there. 

He insists that the guys I am cheating with write things all over the walls in our home about him and about having s** with me. He also insists that I write on the food that I make him and that I fold words into towels, tissue, paper towels, cleaning rags, anything and everything, that say things about me having s** with other men. 

He calls me names like w***e, s***, & c** bucket on a daily basis. I can’t even sleep at night without him waking me up by screaming how much of a w***e I am or that he knows I am having s** with someone and he will kick in my bedroom door. 

It isn’t just one or two guys that he accuses me of cheating with. It is literally every single guy we have known, know now, every male we meet, and also people he sees on the people you may know section of his fb account. 

He has sent messages to people’s wives telling them that their husband is cheating with me. He has went to a different town in the middle of the night and taken pictures of a family’s house and license plates on their cars. 

I got away for a little while and was living in a motorhome. He followed me everywhere I went. I couldn’t hide. One night he was watching my motorhome while I was sleeping. I didn’t know he was out there. Until I heard a gun shot. He later told me he was on his way to come kill whoever I was with (nobody but my dog) and then kill himself. But ended up accidentally shooting himself in the leg with his shot gun. And while he was in the hospital and I was there with him the whole time, he accused me of sleeping with one of the student nurses, who he insisted was not really a nursing student but was pretending to be so he could mess with him, and a security guard at the hospital. 

We both took lie detector tests. He paid for them. I passed and he failed. But he insists it was because the guy who gave us the tests wanted more money. 

There is so much more to the story, if you can believe that. And I will be writing more as I go. My hope doing this, is that I can vent, I can keep records of what he is doing to me, and I can find a way to get away. I need to find my strength. I am going to be posting what happened tonight before I go to sleep, if he will actually let me sleep tonight.